Cracking the Facade – Perception Perfection part 2

June 16, 2018

This is going to be a different kind of post today. This post is my homework from Spirit to be more transparent and vulnerable, as to release my own perception perfection. As many of you know, I have a past life as Marie Antoinette. It is one of my most famous past lives, and I gotta admit, probably one I am least proud of. Throughout this year, I have been getting messages from others that I have not yet released all the Marie energy. This goes to show how large of an effect our past lives have on us, even when we know of them!

Last weekend, Spirit suggested to me to re-watch the movie, Marie Antoinette. This is the modern version, and while it doesn’t show everything, it is enough of a window into the lifetime to gain some new insights. There were three big takeaways from this viewing of the movie for me. 1) She kept herself in a state of indifference about what was going on around her. At some point, she was mature enough to be able to pay attention to the outside world, but she preferred to keep her blinders on when it came to the hardships of others. 2) She never had a handle on her emotions. She wasn’t in touch with what she was really feeling at any moment, and those moments when she did feel something, she just stuffed it right back down inside of her. 3) She had pride about her reputation. She was so very concerned with wanting to portray herself a certain away, and to not allow others to see any flaws or weaknesses.

When I reflect upon how her life has impacted mine, I can see that I am and have been guilty of all three of those points. I have been aware of the first 2 points more than the 3rd, and I have experienced all of them in numerous ways. Yet, it is that third point that has really hit home for me lately, hence this homework assignment from Spirit.

So, my homework is to share with you all of my vulnerabilities, challenges, and difficulties of the moment. Trust me, I do not want to share all of what is going on in such a public way, but when Spirit gives homework, it is a good idea to do it!

Since the beginning of this year, we have been experiencing financial challenges. We have had several times when we did not have much to eat, and we have been consistently behind on our rent payments. Thankfully, we have a very nice leasing office here (and have lived here for 8 years) and were able to make payment arrangements in the past. My mom has also been a great help to us when she was able to. And, now we are in a tough situation again with our rent. We had two big payments due to the apartments to keep our place. One was due on May 29th, and we have paid that one, due to the kindness of a client who paid early for a course. But, now we are approaching out next big due date of June 18th, and we still need $1800 to prevent eviction proceedings from starting. However, once that is paid, we will be caught up!

We have been pulling funds together all we can, even forgoing some important website bills to get the money together to make these payments. So far, we have been making it through, but always bringing us to the very edge. This has been teaching us many things, but most if all it has been about asking for help, being honest, and also trusting in spirit that a solution will arrive, even if in surprising ways.

This week, we did not have any food on Wednesday and Thursday, and thankfully a payment came in Friday to help us buy some food and get the website and email back up. As we were getting ready to go to the store, we looked out the window to discover the car was gone. We knew we were behind on car payments, and it had been towed away to be repossessed sometime in the early hours of Friday morning. We were able to borrow my mom’s car yesterday to help us with running errands. So, now we have groceries, but no car, and we are needing prayers and positive energy to help us get back on track with the remainder of what is due on the rent by Monday.

This is our Perfect Storm. In some ways, it is challenging us like never before, and that is a good thing for soul growth. But, we still have to live in this world where money is a requirement to pay for bills, rent and groceries! We have been calling this our moment of transcendence, and we have been persevering, and continuing to move forward with doing our work, despite what we have been experiencing in the material world.

Now, I’m certain there are some portions of this situation, that because of my past life as Marie, require me to be learning in this specific manner. I understand it all logically, but it is still very difficult emotionally to go through. Especially now, to lay it all out bare for you to judge and see with your own eyes. Marie felt so judged, and that fear of judgment carries through into my life now. It is one of my greatest fears to be judged by the world as a fraud, hack, joke, or even to be seen as speaking any untruth. Some of you may feel that way about me, and you are entitled to your beliefs. I am merely writing this post today to challenge my own beliefs about myself, to learn to be 100% vulnerable, and to share it all anyway, so I can break down the wall I have put up to protect myself from the world’s judgment.

So, I’m not sure what else I need to say here, other than I have shared my challenges with you. I have laid them bare and cracked open my Pollyanna facade to share what I have been experiencing. One thing that we all need to remember is that when someone is releasing their big past life energy that it is THE most difficult thing they will ever through in their life. But, once it is released and gone, they are free! I am hoping that by writing this today to be free from Marie’s influence for once and all!!!

Also, if you have been considering a course, session, coaching program or email report, I would so much appreciate it if you would sign up at this time. I am even offering a 25% discount on my biggest course, the 5-Day Intensive, which is also now available on Skype.

If you find yourself in a similar situation to us, know that you are in our prayers and thoughts, we ask ask that you hold us in yours. Thank you very much for reading.

Update June 17: We have now met our Rent obligations. Thank you all for your kind words and for the heartfelt messages I have received. I cannot express how difficult it was for me to share this post. I am overwhelmed by your generosity, kindness, and love! Thank you.

Update June 20: After many phone calls with our car finance company, we were able to make arrangements to get our car back, and it is now in our parking spot again! They even waived some of our fees.  Prayers really do work, and I thank you all again for your words, prayers and generosity. You have given me more inspiration than I can ever express thanks for! Thank you to each of you, and I wish you all prosperous returns of your blessings ten-fold!


Renovating Life in Mercury Retrograde

About 3 times a year, Mercury goes into retrograde motion, appearing to move backwards in the sky. As it does, it can bring about energy of confusion, frustration, and most importantly, reevaluation.

Mercury rules communication, electronics and short distance travel. So, you want to pay special attention to those things during this time. If you want to know how each Mercury Retrograde will show up for you, take a look at where it will be transiting though your personal birth chart.

This particular Mercury Retrograde is in my rising sign of Aquarius, meaning that it is really causing me to reassess how I define myself. Much of that reassessment is coming in the form of how I focus on, brand, and present my business.

This is precisely what Mercury Retrograde is for: to reevaluate and renovate everything that is old and outworn, in order to bring in the new. Some of the changes taking place are shifting me out of my comfort zone, and other changes are long overdue.

Use this time to think about how you can renovate your life, release the old and begin to make way for the new. Whatever you choose to do, make sure that you don’t move to quickly. Mercury Retrograde is about thinking things through so that any new direction can be vetted out. But, wait to begin that new direction until after the Retrograde period, or you might find yourself changing your mind a few times.

Mercury retrograde is not the time to sign contracts, make large purchases, get married or create any new business. However, it is a wonderful time to renew, refresh, reorganize, and redesign any of those listed items. You might just discover that it also renews your sense of yourself in the process.

Vulnerability is Strength

During the month of February, much of the Earth plane looks to the energy of Love and what it means for them in their life. One of the aspects of Love that is often not explored is that of vulnerability. For many people, vulnerability is a negative term, and they feel it represents weakness, or being lesser than someone else. However, vulnerability’s true definition is to allow another person to be permitted into your life and heart.

Being vulnerable is letting someone else see you as you truly see yourself. That part is not easy, because the Ego will tell you to hide a certain part or certain experience, to hold onto to secrets, and to prepare for the possibility of being hurt. But, all of these actions are based on fear; fear of abandonment, fear of betrayal, fear of judgment, and so forth.

To allow yourself to truly be vulnerable, to fully open up your heart chakra, and your true essence to another person, takes great strength. It takes the strength to ignore the Ego, strength to communicate without fear, and strength to share all of you without the need to justify yourself.

Many people get down on themselves during this time of year. I know when I was single; Valentine’s Day was a day of distraction and pretending like I was happy. But, that’s the thing; Valentine’s Day is not a day for couples. It is a time to appreciate anyone you love, including yourself. Vulnerability begins with you, being honest with yourself, and understanding all parts of who you are. Every person has “good” and “bad” qualities, usually assessed by the Ego to be categorized that way. We are so conditioned to overemphasize the “good”, and to downplay, or even ignore, the “bad.”

This conditioning is based on the flood of messages we receive in our lives, whether from parents, the media, or our friends. There is always going to be someone else outside of you giving you the message that some part of you is undesirable, but that is NOT the truth. Their comments are only a reflection of their unexpressed fears and doubts about themselves. Only you can accept yourself for who you are, and only you need to do so. Once you have true unconditional acceptance for yourself, only then can you truly open up to love. Love is based on sharing in your vulnerability, sharing in all of who you are, and if you are ignoring or running away from a part of yourself, neither you nor anyone else can truly love you.

Love is about sharing, about feeling true compassion for another person. Love is not about fear. As long as you hold onto your fear, you cannot possess the entirety of love that The Divine Spirit (God) has for you. Look at where your fears lie within. Ask yourself, why do you feel uncomfortable telling others about those things that your Ego deems to be “bad” about yourself? Once you can share all parts of who you are, then can you possess the true strength of vulnerability.