June 16, 2018
This is going to be a different kind of post today. This post is my homework from Spirit to be more transparent and vulnerable, as to release my own perception perfection. As many of you know, I have a past life as Marie Antoinette. It is one of my most famous past lives, and I gotta admit, probably one I am least proud of. Throughout this year, I have been getting messages from others that I have not yet released all the Marie energy. This goes to show how large of an effect our past lives have on us, even when we know of them!
Last weekend, Spirit suggested to me to re-watch the movie, Marie Antoinette. This is the modern version, and while it doesn’t show everything, it is enough of a window into the lifetime to gain some new insights. There were three big takeaways from this viewing of the movie for me. 1) She kept herself in a state of indifference about what was going on around her. At some point, she was mature enough to be able to pay attention to the outside world, but she preferred to keep her blinders on when it came to the hardships of others. 2) She never had a handle on her emotions. She wasn’t in touch with what she was really feeling at any moment, and those moments when she did feel something, she just stuffed it right back down inside of her. 3) She had pride about her reputation. She was so very concerned with wanting to portray herself a certain away, and to not allow others to see any flaws or weaknesses.
When I reflect upon how her life has impacted mine, I can see that I am and have been guilty of all three of those points. I have been aware of the first 2 points more than the 3rd, and I have experienced all of them in numerous ways. Yet, it is that third point that has really hit home for me lately, hence this homework assignment from Spirit.
So, my homework is to share with you all of my vulnerabilities, challenges, and difficulties of the moment. Trust me, I do not want to share all of what is going on in such a public way, but when Spirit gives homework, it is a good idea to do it!
Since the beginning of this year, we have been experiencing financial challenges. We have had several times when we did not have much to eat, and we have been consistently behind on our rent payments. Thankfully, we have a very nice leasing office here (and have lived here for 8 years) and were able to make payment arrangements in the past. My mom has also been a great help to us when she was able to. And, now we are in a tough situation again with our rent. We had two big payments due to the apartments to keep our place. One was due on May 29th, and we have paid that one, due to the kindness of a client who paid early for a course. But, now we are approaching out next big due date of June 18th, and we still need $1800 to prevent eviction proceedings from starting. However, once that is paid, we will be caught up!
We have been pulling funds together all we can, even forgoing some important website bills to get the money together to make these payments. So far, we have been making it through, but always bringing us to the very edge. This has been teaching us many things, but most if all it has been about asking for help, being honest, and also trusting in spirit that a solution will arrive, even if in surprising ways.
This week, we did not have any food on Wednesday and Thursday, and thankfully a payment came in Friday to help us buy some food and get the website and email back up. As we were getting ready to go to the store, we looked out the window to discover the car was gone. We knew we were behind on car payments, and it had been towed away to be repossessed sometime in the early hours of Friday morning. We were able to borrow my mom’s car yesterday to help us with running errands. So, now we have groceries, but no car, and we are needing prayers and positive energy to help us get back on track with the remainder of what is due on the rent by Monday.
This is our Perfect Storm. In some ways, it is challenging us like never before, and that is a good thing for soul growth. But, we still have to live in this world where money is a requirement to pay for bills, rent and groceries! We have been calling this our moment of transcendence, and we have been persevering, and continuing to move forward with doing our work, despite what we have been experiencing in the material world.
Now, I’m certain there are some portions of this situation, that because of my past life as Marie, require me to be learning in this specific manner. I understand it all logically, but it is still very difficult emotionally to go through. Especially now, to lay it all out bare for you to judge and see with your own eyes. Marie felt so judged, and that fear of judgment carries through into my life now. It is one of my greatest fears to be judged by the world as a fraud, hack, joke, or even to be seen as speaking any untruth. Some of you may feel that way about me, and you are entitled to your beliefs. I am merely writing this post today to challenge my own beliefs about myself, to learn to be 100% vulnerable, and to share it all anyway, so I can break down the wall I have put up to protect myself from the world’s judgment.
So, I’m not sure what else I need to say here, other than I have shared my challenges with you. I have laid them bare and cracked open my Pollyanna facade to share what I have been experiencing. One thing that we all need to remember is that when someone is releasing their big past life energy that it is THE most difficult thing they will ever through in their life. But, once it is released and gone, they are free! I am hoping that by writing this today to be free from Marie’s influence for once and all!!!
Also, if you have been considering a course, session, coaching program or email report, I would so much appreciate it if you would sign up at this time. I am even offering a 25% discount on my biggest course, the 5-Day Intensive, which is also now available on Skype.
If you find yourself in a similar situation to us, know that you are in our prayers and thoughts, we ask ask that you hold us in yours. Thank you very much for reading.
Update June 17: We have now met our Rent obligations. Thank you all for your kind words and for the heartfelt messages I have received. I cannot express how difficult it was for me to share this post. I am overwhelmed by your generosity, kindness, and love! Thank you.
Update June 20: After many phone calls with our car finance company, we were able to make arrangements to get our car back, and it is now in our parking spot again! They even waived some of our fees. Prayers really do work, and I thank you all again for your words, prayers and generosity. You have given me more inspiration than I can ever express thanks for! Thank you to each of you, and I wish you all prosperous returns of your blessings ten-fold!