The Ego

by Tas Soul

EGO: The ego feels worthless, poor, weak, vulnerable, a burden, unworthy, fearful, shady, ugly, fat, skinny. The EGO feels ignorant, untalented, unloved, unlovable, unloving. The EGO feels angry and sad all the time, the EGO wallows in grief and victim-hood all the time. The EGO expects negative outcomes to happen all the time, the EGO is so egotistical, insecure, low thinking.

The EGO fears abandonment, ridicule, and attention, all the while wanting to be honored, adulated, and worshipped. The EGO likes to cause controversy and guilt within. The EGO doesn’t want you to grow and live healthy, the EGO wants pain throughout the body and mind.

The EGO wants you in a poverty mind-state full of fear and shame, because the EGO hates itself. The EGO is selfish, swindling, with ill intentions towards you. The EGO wants you to give up, give in and to fail. The EGO pretends to be caring, and self-righteous, all the while harboring hidden pride.

The EGO wants to be rich and wealthy but then wants to complain and say, all the wealth in the world isn’t enough!

The EGO loves being the victim, the savior, the emperor, and the monk, yet it fears failure, and triumph.

The Answer: I will no longer entertain any of my ego’s thoughts, beliefs, or wishes. I am cutting all these chords of attachment in all directions of time, space, frequencies, dimensions, densities, realms, and places that I have no words for.

I AM FREE NOW!!!!

**Note from Karen: This is a guest post by Tas Soul, if you would like to be a Guest Blogger on Your Soul Mission, please read this post. Learn more about Tas Soul and his music at his website, TasSoulVibes.com**

Hidden Pride

Pride is one the least noticed emotions that the Ego uses over us. Many people are aware of the expression of pride that comes from boastful behavior, or self-righteousness. But, one part of pride that alludes most people is the hidden pride of understating oneself.

By the age of 13, I was very shy, and what many would call a wallflower. I had very little self-confidence. That low confidence stayed with me until I became aware of it through my personal development process. One of the ways in which pride ruled me was through reinforcing my low-self confidence. It is a subtle influence, but one that is very common. It usually comes in the form of how we react to a complement from another person.

Imagine that someone has given you the compliment that they like what you are wearing. How do you react? Do you say nothing? Do you downplay your appearance? Do you emphasize something else that you like about yourself instead? All of these reactions are the hidden side of pride, a pride in one’s own low self image. I know it might sound strange that someone could be prideful of a low self image, but this is precisely the paradoxical thinking that the Ego plays into.

Because a common teaching in spirituality is to practice humility, (to not to be boastful or bragging), many assume that downplaying oneself equates humility. This is not true. Humility is not downplaying your own role in something, instead humility is about accepting your part in with an inner knowing. (Not doing it for external reasons)

Next time someone pays you a compliment or says job well done. Simply try to say, “Thank you.” See how you feel when you say those words. Do you feel bad about yourself? Do you feel like you need to pay a complement back? Do you feel uncomfortable? Do you feel like you need to defer this complement to someone else? All of these are are subtle ways in which hidden pride reveals itself. Each one showing you that you are not truly accepting your role in what took place. Humility comes in simplicity, the simplicity of accepting yourself, your role in what has happened, but without feeling that swell of confidence. Humility knows that you did not do the action for the compliment, but it also knows that to pretend you did nothing is just as prideful as bragging about it.

Pride is not only trying to elicit a compliment, but also not being able to accept one. Humility comes from the acceptance that you were a part of the equation to make it happen. When you do not accept your role in completing or participating in something, it is the result of this hidden pride attached to low self-confidence.

Gaining Independence from the Ego

As we near Independence Day (The 4th of July) here in the US, I like to think of it as a time of reflection. Sure there are celebrations of fireworks and summer picnics, but also the holiday is about celebrating the freedom to be oneself. Yet, in our society today this is still not something that is a welcomed experience by everyone. In fact many people are afraid to be themselves, for fear of judgment, abandonment, ridicule and so forth.

So, during this week, take some time to reflect on if you are holding onto any of these fears? Is there a part of you where your Ego is holding you back from the full expression of who you are? Recently, I experienced really terrible sciatica pain. There were a couple of days where it became difficult to walk or even sit up for long periods of time. When I experienced the pain, I looked up sciatica in Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life. One of the things that the book mentioned was that sciatica is caused by being hypocritical.

This really got me thinking, and honestly my Ego really did not like that word! Was there a part of my life where I was being hypocritical? So, I did some further reading and reflection on this. At first, much of what was coming up had to do with trusting in Spirit. This made sense to me, because while I talk quite a bit about trusting in Spirit and the Universe, deep down there was a part of my Ego that believed that the Universe truly didn’t support me. It was an interesting revelation for sure. So, as I often recommend to others, I did what I call a “controlled dive” into this energy, asking questions that will take me to a deeper and deeper answer.

So, I went deeper into this energy and discovered that my Ego had me convinced that I was not worthy of being nurtured, and that was the source of my belief about receiving support from the Universe. This was certainly not an expected discovery. Upon realizing this core energy (with the help of my wonderful boyfriend), I released a floodgate of tears. They flowed and flowed, seeming like they were coming from no-where. This is my evidence that I truly tapped into something that was trying to remain hidden within me. After the cry, I felt much better, knowing I had tapped into the core energy of this issue.

The next morning, I woke up and had broken out with acne. I had acne all over my neck, chest and back. This was like the acne of a teenager, huge and, might I say, pretty gross looking, pimples. Knowing that acne represents the body clearing out anger, this did not come as too much of a surprise. Much of the energy I had cleared the night before on the unwillingness to accept nurturing, had left a residue of resentment and anger toward others and toward the Universe. My body was now flushing these past life emotions to the surface. Again, I was trying to hold onto the belief that the Universe did not support me. Of course, there was evidence of this in my life to the contrary, but when the Ego holds on to a hidden emotion, it can convince you to ignore the evidence around you.

That all took place around June 22, and as I write this a week later, the acne is still present, although clearing up. And, while pockets of anger still come up from time to time, I find that I am once again feeling more energized. That uptake in energy is a good sign that I am almost through this particular layer of energy release. Will there be another layer of this same energy? One can never be too sure of the answer to that question. So, best to learn from each energy release you experience, so that you can move forward on your life path,  and gain more independence from each and every emotion that the Ego would try to use against you.