Affirmation for Unity
“I create Unity within myself, my home, and my community, by viewing each individual from the Soul perspective.”
Tag: acceptance
Hidden Pride
Pride is one the least noticed emotions that the Ego uses over us. Many people are aware of the expression of pride that comes from boastful behavior, or self-righteousness. But, one part of pride that alludes most people is the hidden pride of understating oneself.
By the age of 13, I was very shy, and what many would call a wallflower. I had very little self-confidence. That low confidence stayed with me until I became aware of it through my personal development process. One of the ways in which pride ruled me was through reinforcing my low-self confidence. It is a subtle influence, but one that is very common. It usually comes in the form of how we react to a complement from another person.
Imagine that someone has given you the compliment that they like what you are wearing. How do you react? Do you say nothing? Do you downplay your appearance? Do you emphasize something else that you like about yourself instead? All of these reactions are the hidden side of pride, a pride in one’s own low self image. I know it might sound strange that someone could be prideful of a low self image, but this is precisely the paradoxical thinking that the Ego plays into.
Because a common teaching in spirituality is to practice humility, (to not to be boastful or bragging), many assume that downplaying oneself equates humility. This is not true. Humility is not downplaying your own role in something, instead humility is about accepting your part in with an inner knowing. (Not doing it for external reasons)
Next time someone pays you a compliment or says job well done. Simply try to say, “Thank you.” See how you feel when you say those words. Do you feel bad about yourself? Do you feel like you need to pay a complement back? Do you feel uncomfortable? Do you feel like you need to defer this complement to someone else? All of these are are subtle ways in which hidden pride reveals itself. Each one showing you that you are not truly accepting your role in what took place. Humility comes in simplicity, the simplicity of accepting yourself, your role in what has happened, but without feeling that swell of confidence. Humility knows that you did not do the action for the compliment, but it also knows that to pretend you did nothing is just as prideful as bragging about it.
Pride is not only trying to elicit a compliment, but also not being able to accept one. Humility comes from the acceptance that you were a part of the equation to make it happen. When you do not accept your role in completing or participating in something, it is the result of this hidden pride attached to low self-confidence.
Why Affirmations?
Many people ask me why I focus so much on using affirmations in my work. The short answer is because they are easy, short, digestible tools that anyone can take advantage of. So, why do they get such a bad rap?
Perhaps our definition begins with the Saturday Night Live of old and Stuart Smalley telling himself, “I am good enough, I am smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” And, with that phrase we are left to think that affirmations are dopey, silly and useless. But, this is very much not the case.
Affirmations, when worded in such a way, can provide us with ongoing mantras of creating the life we desire. Why? Because a well worded affirmation can completely shift our mindset; changing our focus from what we do not like about life, our lives or others, to instead what we are working on creating more of.
If you have tried affirmations in the past, but felt like you have been lying to yourself, it might be time to pick up the practice once again. But, this time, ensure that the wording of the affirmations will be something that will be truthful for you to say.
Let me share an example: The affirmation “I Love myself unconditionally” is one that many people use. But, what if you are not exactly at a state in your life where you truly feel that way about yourself? What will actually happen is that by saying this affirmation, your internal dialogue will discount what you have just said aloud, saying the internal thought of “but, no I don’t.” When you put that all together, the final saying is not exactly empowering; as you are basically telling yourself that you don’t really love yourself, just with more words.
Instead, try using the affirmation “I work at loving myself more each day.” That way no matter where you are in life, or how you feel about yourself, this affirmation will always be true! Whenever an affirmation is worded in such a way, it absolutely can be a tool for positive change.