As we near Independence Day (The 4th of July) here in the US, I like to think of it as a time of reflection. Sure there are celebrations of fireworks and summer picnics, but also the holiday is about celebrating the freedom to be oneself. Yet, in our society today this is still not something that is a welcomed experience by everyone. In fact many people are afraid to be themselves, for fear of judgment, abandonment, ridicule and so forth.
So, during this week, take some time to reflect on if you are holding onto any of these fears? Is there a part of you where your Ego is holding you back from the full expression of who you are? Recently, I experienced really terrible sciatica pain. There were a couple of days where it became difficult to walk or even sit up for long periods of time. When I experienced the pain, I looked up sciatica in Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life. One of the things that the book mentioned was that sciatica is caused by being hypocritical.
This really got me thinking, and honestly my Ego really did not like that word! Was there a part of my life where I was being hypocritical? So, I did some further reading and reflection on this. At first, much of what was coming up had to do with trusting in Spirit. This made sense to me, because while I talk quite a bit about trusting in Spirit and the Universe, deep down there was a part of my Ego that believed that the Universe truly didn’t support me. It was an interesting revelation for sure. So, as I often recommend to others, I did what I call a “controlled dive” into this energy, asking questions that will take me to a deeper and deeper answer.
So, I went deeper into this energy and discovered that my Ego had me convinced that I was not worthy of being nurtured, and that was the source of my belief about receiving support from the Universe. This was certainly not an expected discovery. Upon realizing this core energy (with the help of my wonderful boyfriend), I released a floodgate of tears. They flowed and flowed, seeming like they were coming from no-where. This is my evidence that I truly tapped into something that was trying to remain hidden within me. After the cry, I felt much better, knowing I had tapped into the core energy of this issue.
The next morning, I woke up and had broken out with acne. I had acne all over my neck, chest and back. This was like the acne of a teenager, huge and, might I say, pretty gross looking, pimples. Knowing that acne represents the body clearing out anger, this did not come as too much of a surprise. Much of the energy I had cleared the night before on the unwillingness to accept nurturing, had left a residue of resentment and anger toward others and toward the Universe. My body was now flushing these past life emotions to the surface. Again, I was trying to hold onto the belief that the Universe did not support me. Of course, there was evidence of this in my life to the contrary, but when the Ego holds on to a hidden emotion, it can convince you to ignore the evidence around you.
That all took place around June 22, and as I write this a week later, the acne is still present, although clearing up. And, while pockets of anger still come up from time to time, I find that I am once again feeling more energized. That uptake in energy is a good sign that I am almost through this particular layer of energy release. Will there be another layer of this same energy? One can never be too sure of the answer to that question. So, best to learn from each energy release you experience, so that you can move forward on your life path, and gain more independence from each and every emotion that the Ego would try to use against you.